Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs – Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

Two years ago, before I was married, I read this same book by Dr. Eggerichs. At the time, I thought ‘well, this sounds reasonable’, and continued along my merry way after closing the front cover. I remember now that, at the time I’d picked the book up at the store, a woman mentioned to me ‘this book saved my marriage, honestly… pay attention and you won’t regret it’. Reading it through for a second time, after being married for a year and a half? Dr. Eggerichs has it right.

Women need love, and men need respect. Both are mutually inclusive, because when a woman receives love she feels respected, and when a man is respected, it’s a sign of love to him. Eliminate either love or respect, and couples start on what he terms ‘the Crazy Cycle’. How do you stop the crazy cycle? It’s all based on love and respect. Dr. Eggerich outlines what this means for both husbands and wives, what they can do to increase love and respect (and maintain it!), and how to prevent getting back on the Crazy Cycle in the future.

Whether you’re dating, engaged, or married for any length of time, the Dr. speaks the truth… and it’s worth a listen!

I received this book as a part of the Thomas Nelson Book Review Blogger program.

Put away those mushy-gushy marriage guides… the real stuff’s right here! Alright, maybe not all of it, but Rick & Bubba have a few things to say about getting married, being married, and staying married. And it won’t put you to sleep! Rick & Bubba approach the subject with honesty, humor, and personal anecdotes that will make you either laugh or groan (depending on how much you identify with said anecdote…!)

What I appreciated most about this book was the different approach to the subject, which I realize is something that a number of other reviewers found frustrating. Let me put it this way: the authors don’t shy away from taking shots at their wives. Not in a cruel or mean way, but in the sense that the anecdotes don’t always make their wives into the “good guy” of the situation.

They show their faults, their bad habits, all those things that… well… that husbands are always pinned for in other marriage books! That’s not to say Rick & Bubba make themselves out to be perfect, model husbands – not in the least! But the tongue-in-cheek, BALANCED approach to showing both good/bad sides of husbands and wives, in a humorous way, was incredibly refreshing. It’s about time we wives had some stories told about us!

Rating: 3.5 coffees out of 5

(Reviewed for Thomas Nelson)

What can I say? I’ve always been a fan of Dr. Leman’s books, whether they’re about Birth Order, marriage, family relationships, women & perfectionism, or sex. I find his writing style to be very casual, personal (he uses himself and his own life & marriage for a lot of anecdotes), and approachable, and always peppered with humor. He’s the kind of self-help writer that you feel you know once you’ve read one of his books… like if you saw him in the street tomorrow, you could walk up and just say “Hey, Dr. Leman! How’s Sande? Did you have a good time on your annual family trip?” etc.

So, once again, he’s written a ‘sex book’, comparable (but still different) to Sheet Music, which I read last year. While I think I preferred Sheet Music over this one, he had a lot of good content inside this volume that I think would be very helpful to many. It’s mostly presented in a Q&A format, based around popular questions he gets during marriage seminars and regular marriage counseling practice, so it was interesting to read about the common issues and concerns couples have… because really, there’s a reason why they’re common concerns!

All around, a well-written and well-presented volume (as usual) from a psychologist who, all things considered, writes his books (and presents himself) more like an easy-going friend than anything else.

Rating: 3.5 coffees out of 5