A typical morning for me includes, in sequence:

• Waking up (shocker, I know)
• Coffee
• Checking email, Facebook, LibraryThing, blog feed, Twitter, various forums I’m members of
• Reviewing stories for Flash Me
• Wandering about online
• Opening various work pieces & staring at them for awhile
• At 10am, the bird gets woken up & fed
• Rinse & repeat with the checking email, etc sequence…

So when do I get around to actually writing fiction? Well, more often than not, I don’t. I usually only get fresh fiction writing done on days that I head to our local cafe and sit down determined to type. I have excellent focus there, and I always get lots done. But as I’ve been trying to reorient and reorganize myself this fall, I had to take a hard look at how my time was spent and admit that one or two afternoons a week just isn’t going to cut it. I have too many ideas, too many aspirations, to produce so little.

I thought about NaNoWriMo. Every November, I manage to punch out 50,000 words in a month — how is it that I can manage to produce so much in that one month, and then fall off drastically for the rest of the year? Unacceptable.

At the urging of my husband, and prodding of my own heart, today I started a new plan. I’m taking a page out of James Scott Bell’s book, and am going to try and get my writing done in the morning. According to his Twitter feeds, he always writes 500 words in the morning, no matter what. His daily quota is 1000 words, so if he can get 500 done at the very beginning of the day, then getting the second 500 is a much less daunting task when the entire remainder of the day stretches out before him.

I agree! And while I may be bleary eyed, cranky, fuzzy-headed, and rather immobile in the mornings, for whatever reason, that’s the time my Muse loves best. Maybe that’s because my Self isn’t fully conscious yet, so she’s able to communicate with me best before my left brain takes over for the rest of the day.

Today was day #1 of the plan. The goal is 1000 words in the morning, and then even if I get precious little accomplished during the rest of the day… at least I’ll have that 1000 words to be proud of, and which will accumulate over time. If for some reason my Muse sleeps in one of these mornings, that 1000-word quota can be transferred to my ebook writing or SEO article creation. It doesn’t matter what… I just need to produce, and do it at a time that I know works best for my own mind & body.

Some people work best at night, or in the evenings after dinner. Some work best on weekends. Everyone is different, so my question for today is, when does your Muse prefer to come out to play?

This past weekend, I performed my first dance solo on stage. What does this have to do with writing, you ask? Just hang in there, I think I know where I’m going with this.

I prepared my solo for weeks. Months, even. I chose my music, my theme & style for the dance, my costume, and tried to make my dance & appearance stand apart – even just a little bit – from the other bellydancer I knew would be performing solo that night.

I was nervous… very nervous. The other bellydancer was an experienced soloist, who dances at weddings/parties/community events, so she knew exactly what she was doing, at least in my mind. I’d never seen her dance before, I’d simply heard some wonderful things about her. “I want to be like that,” I thought, “I want to inspire comments from the people who see me dance.”

So I practiced. I rehearsed. I drove an hour away from home, on numerous occasions, to use studio space that was far bigger than the space at home… it was a better resource, so I could create a better dance.

Performance day came closer. My dance was completely choreographed, I’d rehearsed it enough times that I could dance it in my sleep, my costume was ready, and I had a bag full of ‘back-up’ items just in case anything went wrong on the day of the show.

Then, on the day of the show, for the first time in my life… I realized I had stage fright. Where did this come from? I was fine putting the dance together, refining it, changing what didn’t work, creating a sparkly costume to complement the steps… but when it hit me that I’d be all alone up there, showcasing my hard work to a crowd of people there to watch ‘serious dance’ – who’d probably never seen a bellydancer before – and who could reject my work in a setting where I could see it on their faces… I panicked. I broke down. I didn’t want to do it anymore. I wanted to keep my dance and my sparkly costume to myself, hidden away at home, where no one could see it… and no one could reject it.

Of course, the only way I could actually get out of it would be to break an ankle or fall violently ill, neither of which seemed to be the best course of action. I arrived at the venue, put on the costume – enjoyed plenty of compliments on my shimmery outer self – and headed to the stage. There was no turning back, and when my music started, all those nerves and butterflies disappeared, because… what was the point of being nervous anymore? It was too late to do anything about it – I’d done the best I could – so I danced, and left my heart on the stage.

There were plenty of scowlers in the crowd (I imagine their brains going “this doesn’t look anything like contemporary or lyrical, what does this woman think she’s doing?”). There were also some smiles, so I danced to the smiles. I danced to make the people happy who appreciated the style of my performance.

Yes, I forgot choreography. I messed up, but I kept going. When you’re showcasing yourself to the world, the worst thing you can do is freeze up, and mercifully I had the strength to take the stumbles in stride and finish strong. They applauded, I left the stage.

Three days later, I watched the video. I saw all the mistakes I made, I cringed when my elbows were turned in or my arms made a sloppy transition, or I forgot to look up… but now I knew where to work on next time. I knew what to focus on, and what I should fix. In the meantime, I received a number of compliments from people who actually enjoyed my performance (much to my surprise). It felt good. I’d done what I’d set out to do, and the people who didn’t like it? Well, they didn’t bother to tell me, so who cares? All I can do is create a better performance the second time around, and hope it reaches even more people.

…by now, I’m sure you see where I’m going with this. Performing your first solo is very much, in so many ways, like writing. You create the best product you can, package it with a sparkly cover letter (or if you’re published, a shiny cover), and reach deep within yourself for the strength to place it out there on the literary stage: the desks of the people who become your first audience. Some will reject it, some will smile and ask for more, and some will love it enough to compliment you and anticipate your next book.

We may also try to tailor our writing to suit the established norm of the genre. Like a more experienced dancer and a new soloist, we see the trends and try to follow them, but also tweak and change so that our work stands out and is seen as just a little bit different.

We writers pour our hearts and souls out onto the paper stage, take our fumbles as they come, and – hopefully – finish with a smile on our faces, no matter what. Rejection hurts, but we need to take chances – to send our work out into the spotlight – in order to receive acceptance.

And now that I’ve performed my first solo, I feel far more ready to try it again.

Banish the fear. Step into the spotlight and give it all you’ve got. Leave your heart on the metaphorical literary stage, and don’t worry about the people who glare and wonder why your work doesn’t look like ‘this’ or ‘that’. Because someone, somebody, out there is going to smile – and that’s when you’ll know it’s all been worth it.

I definitely dropped the ball last week when it came to posting. And I  had this whole series of posts in mind on platforms & new media, and a nice pile of shiny information to go along with it. Of course, Wednesday rolled around, I reached down into my pile of conference papers and found… well, nothing. What the…?

It turns out I’ve misplaced my sheets from the New Media session at Write!Canada, which I was going to use to write some brilliant (haha) & informative posts on platforms. I could try to wing it from memory, but… you guys deserve better than that. I think the best idea right now is to put the platform series on hold until I can track down my notes (oh noes, does this mean I have to clean the *shudder* office?!?!).

Until then (or until I can think of a new topic), please enjoy this quote I found several weeks back:

“There’s nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at typewriter and open a vein.”
- Red Smith

No kidding! But what about those times that you sit down to write, open the vein, and come up dry? Like your lifeblood has drained out? Yikes… it’s scary, but it happens. How do you find that inspiration again when you’re drained of ideas, motivation, inspiration, or even the will to keep writing?

In a previous post, I mentioned the issue of writers as speakers. Let’s face it: If you’re an author, you’re going to be doing public speaking, whether you like it or not. No question. It could be a lecture, a book reading, an interview, or a sales pitch – but public speaking is going to become your new best friend.

Why?

Because public speaking sells books. Public speaking generates awareness about your topic (if it’s non-fiction) or interest in your material (if it’s fiction). Public speaking improves your platform as an author, and that’s really what it’s all about these days. Unfortunately, most writers tend to run screaming at the thought of standing up and talking… all alone… in front of hundreds of people. I know what you’re thinking: Can’t someone else read it for me? Why can’t I just write the speech and then have someone else say it? Writers don’t want to talk to people for real, that’s why they’re writers!!!

Not in today’s publishing industry, sorry to say. You may be a writer first, but you’re a speaker second. And in order to be an effective speaker, you need to learn a thing or two about becoming a dynamic public speaker. Again, you ask: Why? What’s the point?

If you can’t learn to be an engaging and exciting public speaker… who’s going to stick around to listen? Do you think anyone will want to buy your book if you stare at your page, speak in monotone, and fumble over every second word? I’m sorry, but your audience members are going to start staring at their watches and daydreaming about the evening’s dinner plans. Of course, you won’t notice – your eyes are glued to the page.

What does it take to become an effective public speaker? David Malasarn over at The Literary Lab wrote an excellent blog post a few days ago dealing with this exact topic, pertaining in particular to book readings. In my experience, even the best book ever written can become boring and lifeless when read by someone who looks and feels uncomfortable in front of an audience. Here are a few little techniques I employ when speaking (or, reading out loud) to an audience:

• Make eye contact.

From the moment you step behind that microphone, to the time you step off the platform, you need to make eye contact with your audience. I would say that the most important moments for this are: right BEFORE you speak, and as SOON as you finish. When you step up to the microphone, gaze over your audience. Smile. Look people in the eye. Introduce yourself & the work/passage you’re reading while looking at the audience. If you absolutely cannot look at individual people, train your eyes to look just above their heads, but just – it will still look like you’re addressing the audience, but too far overhead will make them wonder what’s on the ceiling that happens to be so interesting…

At the end of your reading, look up! Say “thank you” to the audience (not to the ceiling, or the paper in front of you, smile (yes, again!!!), and then step down.

What about while you’re reading? I’m trying to suggest baby steps here, but honestly, you should be looking up at your audience while you’re reading. Presumably you’ve practiced your reading enough times to know it fairly well, so that you don’t have to read word for word off the page. Looking up and making eye contact with audience members is one of the author’s most powerful tools when speaking. You’ll be able to see if people are interested, if they’re having trouble following, if they’re on the edge of their seats… and even if your story is crud, if you gave a dynamic reading, guess what? They’ll probably still buy your book. You’re selling a product. Make it exciting, even if it isn’t.

• Intonation makes or breaks your reading.

If you read your passage entirely in monotone, you’ll lose at least 50% of your audience (but I’m guessing far more) within the first ten minutes. People’s attention spans, regardless of how exciting you are, tend to wander around 35 minutes into a speaker’s presentation, so you can imagine how quickly a boring speaking will lose his or her audience. Make it exciting! Get loud with the action, quiet with chilling suspense, alter how quickly or slowly you read according to the needs of the text. You don’t need to do accents or voices – in some cases, this might just annoy people (think of a few audiobooks you’ve tried to listen to lately… yeah, exactly). But give your story life in real time! The more invested you are in the reading as a speaker, the more invested your audience will be. And guess what happens then? That’s right: They buy your book.

• Slow down.

Practice before you get there. Read over your piece once, twice, a hundred times, until you know it inside out and can get through it without stumbling. And then? Once you’re up in front of that microphone, smiling at your audience, first sentence ready to roll off your tongue? Take a deep breath… and read. Slowly. No, slower than that… almost, almost… are you hitting every syllable (within reason, of course)? If you start to trip over words, you’re reading far, far too quickly and will lose your audience. Look at a nearby clock. Did you have 15 minutes slotted, and you’re already halfway through the piece after 5 minutes? You’re still too fast. You need to read at a pace that is too slow to your own ears. Don’t be ridiculous about it – no one likes a speaker who drones on forever – but the correct pace, the perfect pace, will seem far too slow to you at first. Get used to it. The best way to do that? More public speaking!

If you’re a competent writer but an incompetent public speaker, you’re going to find yourself struggling within this industry, especially in today’s market where the author is required to push 50-60% of her own books. You do that by getting out into the community, talking to others, and using your platform to build your profile to the point where people want to read your books. Public speaking is perhaps the most crucial way to do this, but if you don’t get it right… you’ll find your efforts do more harm than good.

Who knows… after a few tries, you might actually enjoy it!

***

Question: What has your experience been with public speaking? Do you enjoy it? Is it your worst fear? What steps have you taken to conquer your fear, and what are your tips for others who are still trying to overcome it?

Huzzah! I’ve hit 75k and counting! …it’s really quite amazing what a few hours at a coffee shop can do for you. Problem is, the story is going to end before I hit 90k. Hrm. Well, that’s what rewrites are for, yes?

In other news, I’m still attempting to make use of the bulletin board from a few weeks back (refer to previous posts about motivation), but it’s not going so well. Apparently to make it work, you have to actually post new things and, oh… complete some of the ones you already have up there. So far, I have about 50 ‘to-do’ things and maybe 3 in the ‘Doing’ category. Now, I know Holly says to limit yourself to 5 things at a time – ie. only make cards about 5 tasks ahead of yourself – but it’s a very busy time and almost everything on the list is urgent… and ironically, few are about writing. Maybe it’s just the time of year, but it isn’t really working for me right now.

I’m not going to give up yet, though! At the very least, my long term goals are posted on the board, and it’s good to see them over and over… well, except for on certain days when all they do is depress me, but that’s another thing for another time.

Ah well.

This site is, in theory, supposed to serve a threefold purpose:

• to chronicle my writing journey
• to serve as a professional point of contact for new clients
• to be a second place to post my book reviews (Librarything is place #1)

So far, I’m getting back into the swing of things on #1, failing miserably in #2, and sort-of getting #3 done. As I move into a more regular writing schedule (cross fingers), the chronicles of my writing journey will hopefully become more regular and, *gasp*, hopefully more useful to others. I wish my site hadn’t been hacked last year… I had some good posts on there, but they’re long gone. Oh well. That version of the blog was getting more personal than anything else, really.

In terms of posting the book reviews, you’ll notice I have a review scheduled for every 4 days. This is fine, except that I didn’t start doing this until last month… and since I’ve actually read 46 books this year so far, and reviews are only up to book #12, there’s quite a way to go. At this rate, I’ll be posting my books from 2009 well into 2010, and always run behind. This is something I’ll have to figure out myself in the near future, and it may involve back-dating a number of book reviews just so I can get them all in this year. So don’t be alarmed if there are suddenly a pile of new reviews you haven’t read, or if they start getting posted closer together. Never fear, I’ve got it under control… I hope.

As for my second point there… well, I’m failing miserably. Ideally, I’d like to use this site as a point of contact for business references and new clients, and I’d like to be able to hand out business cards (or the like) with this site’s address on it. Then, the potential client could come here, view some samples of my work, and contact me to discuss their project. Currently, the state of this site makes it impossible. In fact, all I have right now is a pretty amateur-looking blog. Ugh. Not good. Fortunately, my husband runs a website design company, so at least I have someone to turn to for help… though a personal project obviously falls under the ‘non-urgent’ list of things in their book, so I have to move at their schedule.

So, my point: hopefully over the next few months, you’ll begin to see some changes around here… for the better. I’d like to get the title up at the top of the site, maybe with a funky little book-sandwich graphic next to it. I have a number of widgets I’d like to install (including, but not limited to: a writing contest widget that scrolls through current contests, a Librarything widget that displays random covers in my library, a wordcount widget for my WIPs, etc), and I’d like the boxes on the right to be organized better. I want the navigation to stand out… and… and… and…

Yes, I have big plans. My hope is that they’ll pan out slowly… so again, don’t be alarmed if you show up and things look different. Better website = more productive writer… RIGHT??? Heh…

Anyway, if I’m doing professional work – and am married to a man who runs a website design company, for goodness sake – I really should have a professional-looking website, with this blog as just one of the areas of focus. All in due time…

Anyone remember that show? That was a great show… or at least, it was until it went really dark and weird and Bob turned semi-evil (or at least that’s how it looked to me at 10 years old).

But, that’s not the subject of my post for today. Last night I decided to try and get myself back into the writing swing of things by starting something new… ah, but don’t panic! It’s not what you think. I didn’t start a new novel, and I’m not running off to the “ooh, shiny!” new plot in my head or anything like that (as much as I may be tempted). I just figured that if all these published authors make a point of stressing that you write at least 1000 words a day – and they’re still published, and still making money off their books – they must be on to something.

So I grabbed my notepad and a pen, and began writing. Nothing special, no pre-planning, no anything. And, well… I handwrote 3 pages of something, and it wasn’t a complete waste of time. No, I think I can safely add this one to my files of ideas, and maybe come back to it in the future. I have absolutely no idea where the little story idea was going, but it doesn’t matter. A workable idea for the future is what matters, not to mention the psychological assurance that comes from knowing that your Muse hasn’t actually run off to Tahiti as you’d suspected.

Will it make a difference in motivating me to finish ‘A Work in Progress’? Who knows. Maybe I just need to stop thinking of it as ‘work’ and get back to the fun of it… the ‘pick up a pen and just write!’ fun of it. This, I suspect, is where I stall: when creative writing becomes ‘job-like’ in my mindset.

So, I should just change my mindset. Easier said than done. I’m hoping to head off to the coffee shop sometime today – laptop in hand – to try and do just that.

For whatever reason, I have very little problem getting myself motivated to write during NaNoWriMo. Maybe it’s the excitement of the event. Maybe it’s the absolute deadline, or the community support. Maybe it’s the fact that there’s something new to work on, something fresh with endless possibilities. Sure, there are off days, but the whole month is a thrill in itself. I look forward to it throughout the year.

But what about now, when it isn’t November? It’s April. And last month was March. And next month is May. In fact, there are 11 months of the year that simply aren’t November, which means there are 11 months when I need to be completely self-motivated to sit down and get those words written on paper (or, uh, the computer screen).

Right now, I’m struggling. I have no drive, no sense of direction, and no burning desire to get any of my characters where they need to be. I don’t even think it’s writer’s block, to be honest, because I know what needs to happen in both manuscripts, and yet I don’t feel motivated to take them there.

In short, I feel like I’ve failed before I’ve begun. I wonder if I’ve chosen the wrong path, or if this dream I’ve had of being a writer – which has carried me since I was 8 years old, if I remember correctly – was all a mistake. Maybe I’m not cut out to write. Maybe I wasn’t meant to do this. Maybe I’ve been wrong this whole time.

But it’s all I know how to do.

This afternoon, my husband sat me down in front of his computer screen, and brought up last year’s statistics for The Ancient Standard. Until this week, I hadn’t written anything new for that site since… well, nearly a year ago. Or maybe longer. Anyway, he showed me the traffic stats for 2008.

There were almost 50,000 unique visitors to the site, and about 84,000 repeat visits. That means that 50,000 people read my writing. And an awful lot of them liked it enough to come back for another go.

While I don’t particularly see that as “success”, I suppose it means that I shouldn’t go beating myself over the head with the notion that I’m a complete failure. Somebody likes my writing style. Some people want to read it, and then come back for more. For me, The Ancient Standard is like pseudo-journalism – because really, I’m reporting on events, or discoveries, or historical details that other people have already written about, and simply compiling information from various sources to produce what I hope is a brief but comprehensive article about the topic.

It’s not my original work, so I still can’t be confident that anyone likes my fiction, which is where my heart lies. But at the very least, I can take comfort in the fact that people enjoy my writing style, and that I’m providing what others perceive to be quality information in an entertaining format. And with all honesty, I can say I’m grateful for each and every visitor who reads my work.

Is it measurable success by my own standards? Not particularly. But does it at least quell some of the despair that has crept into my soul as of late? Yes, it does. I can feel a tiny spark of hope again… and isn’t one spark all it takes to light a fire?

Yes, we all know Starbucks gave away free coffee yesterday for Earth Day (if you brought in a travel mug), but do you also know that McDonald’s is giving away free coffees from open until 8:30am, every morning until May3rd?

Seriously. Free. You go in, order a coffee, and then walk out the door with a coffee in hand, no cost to you. And from what I’ve heard, McDonald’s coffee is better than Tim Horton’s! Though, let’s be honest: that’s not hard to do.

I mention this because every writer needs free coffee. Multiple free coffees, in fact. Now all we need is free cake, and life will be complete.