…fine. I’ll tell you. I said I would!

There were plenty of great guesses, but alas, no one chose correctly… not even my Dear Husbando, who I asked to read it and find the lie. He did a *facepalm* of his own when I pointed it out, however.

Let’s evaluate!

7 Cups of Coffee, Black

Yes, this happened. I got cut off. In fact, later that year, I drank at least that many in an even  shorter period of time (not at Pizza Hut, though) and actually passed out. Er, these were not my proudest moments as a 16-year-old. Heh. And yes, I drink it black. Any other way is unnatural, I tell you!

Chocolate Grocery Store Cake

Yep, I made this decision the day before I wrote the post, in fact. Chocolate grocery store cake doesn’t even taste like chocolate anymore, so I don’t think it counts as chocolate. It tastes like dashed hopes and bitter disappointment. *sniff* It’s just plain cruel.

The Bird (aratinga solstitialis)

Don’t worry, he’s real! In fact, he’s sitting with me right now, wrapped up in a blanket and happily preening his feathers. He’s also being unusually quiet, so maybe I should check on him… yep, he’s okay… he’s flipped on his back for a tickle, so all is good!

Traipsing Around the House Whilst Singing / Shouting / Screeching/ Exclaiming

Yes, and those who know me well know that this is not unusual behavior. Much like with my bird, if I’m too quiet for too long, people tend to come check on me and make sure I’m still alive. Needless to say, we don’t open the windows very often…

Cat That Doesn’t Like to Be Pet

This is sad, but true. She’s evil and a nightmare. We named her Caprica (after the Cylon/planet), and she’s lived up to her cruel, robotic namesake. I can only pet her if she’s asleep/almost asleep/just waking up, but the moment she realizes what I’m doing, she’ll claw me.

She’s also highly destructive and doesn’t respond to discipline (she seems to like being sprayed with water, loud noises don’t bother her, “no” means “pause until the human has glanced away”… and she’ll literally follow me down the hall and dig her claws into my calf if I walk away after telling her not to do something).

The vet actually told me once, “just say the word and I’ll get her on some meds”. Yep, the vet recommends kitty Prozac!

She’s awful… but she’s so pretty. It’s too bad, but I committed to care for her when I adopted her, so that’s that. Sometimes you draw the short straw, I guess.

That means the lie must be… what????

Here it is in the sentence: “…I regret that after graduating high school…”

Still confused? Heh. Well, I never graduated from high school.

Seriously.

“But Faith,” you’re saying, “Aren’t you teaching at a college? Didn’t you go to university?!? WHAT THE HECK?!?!”

Ahem. Yes. But, to make a long story short, I moved between provinces during high school, from Alberta to Ontario. At the time, Ontario had an extra grade level (grade 13, which has since been abolished), and I refused to do an extra year of high school when I’d come from a province where I only had one year left. So, under the assumption that I could do this and still graduate, I skipped from grade 11 to grade 13, did that year through correspondence, and applied for my diploma.

And then was told that I couldn’t graduate because I didn’t have enough credits. Even though they’d told me before it was fine to skip a grade. I said “screw it”, and applied to a local college on the strength of the grades I did have, and they let me in anyway. w00t w00t! So it’s not like I’m a dropout or anything, I just got screwed by the system and had to work around it.

Thanks for guessing!!!

Nice try, everyone! I admit, that was really hard… but I’ve had a lot a fun going through others’ posts and trying to guess too, and it’s been great to see how creative we all got with it!

Here’s to Crusading, and if I haven’t made it over to your blog yet… I’m sorry! I’ll get there soon! Still working my way through the list… how about you?